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Trying really hard

I had a very emotional weekend and as such haven't been tracking or exercising at all this week. I know that if I did I would feel better and more in control, but honestly, I needed a break.

I am not giving up on this blog and I will endeavor to get back on track next week.

I am stopping WW meetings. I know it might not be the best decision but I need a break from that too. The last few weeks they've been repeating meeting topics that we'd only just covered and personally I feel that's a waste of my time and money.

I am really keen to get back into running despite still having ankle issues so I'll be downloading the C25K podcast this week and getting that started first thing Monday.

I'll also be visiting my mum and best friend in Hobart this weekend. I really need to get away from Melbourne and some of the people in it. I love it here, but I need the comfort of my home town as much as possible right now.

I have started a tumblr where I'll be posting a photo of everything I eat. borneater.tumblr.com

I've been doing Photo A Day over at my other tumbler (emmaleesharp.tumblr.com) and so far I've actually managed to post 3 days in a row which is impressive so I'm hoping I can keep it up. I am quite forgetful though!

Anyway I'll try very hard over the next week to get back on plan. I owe it to myself!

I can't face it

I'm up on the scale and I feel bloated and disgusting. I had such a good week and I ruined it last night by getting drunk and coming home and eating four crumpets slathered in butter.

I can't go to yet another meeting and put on weight. I just can't. It will break my heart. I know I did so much better, it's not about the number on the scale, so I don't see why I should have to look at it. See the look of the weigher as she jots down a number almost identical or more than last week, sit in a meeting learning about stuff I already know (and was covered less than 4 weeks ago, get your act together) I just can't do it today. I feel gross.

I'm skipping my meeting. I'm going to clean my house, go out and eat a super healthy breakfast. Go shopping for vegies, go opshopping and then have a quiet night in because I spent all my money.

On the upside - I had a great night last night and I wouldn't trade it.

Goals for Week 2 May

This first week of May my focus was really on getting my eating back on track. And I have to say, despite not sticking to everything 100% I've really made some head way. Not one single binge this week! I've really been listening to my body and focusing on what I need. If I'm hungry I eat, if I'm not I don't. I've been making some pretty good choices too.

In the second week I want to stick with that - obviously trying harder to stick with 19 points every day, but mainly just avoiding binges and bad choices, but I really want to get back to exercise.

I've only really managed 3 workouts this week - it used to be 6 days a week! And I loved it!

So my plan is to go to every early morning class I can. I need to train my body into getting up early and getting fit so I guess this is a bit like my own boot camp.

Saturday: Circuit
Sunday: Yoga and Futsal
Monday: Body Attack
Tuesday: Boxing circuit
Wednesday: Body Attack
Thursday: Rest (after gig)
Friday: Body step

I wont necessarily push myself in every class - I need to listen to my body. My only aim is to show up!

Also, I really need to start drinking more water. I'm taking a bottle with me today in the hopes that that will help.

Almost the end of week 1

The first week of May has gone off reasonably well.

I will admit that I haven't stuck to my food plan 100% and have gone over by up to 6-7 points on some days, generally 2-3 on others. However, I feel much more in control of my eating and I haven't binged once.

I have generally stuck to my exercise though I realise now that my fitness levels aren't what they used to be. I only managed about 17 minutes on the exercise bike. Rather than aiming for 40 minutes, I aim to add a minute to each turn on the bike. Today I'm aiming for 18 minutes!

I have felt *really* hungry all the time this week so I've decided to try and figure out why.

I have set up a spreadsheet for May to map my energy levels and mood. In the spreadsheet I make a note of which week I am into my cycle, jot down 2-3 words to describe my general mood for the week, rate my energy levels and health for the week out of 10 and then make a note of my average daily points intake and average daily points earnt through exercise.

It'll be interesting to see how the amount of food I eat and exercise I do effects my mood and energy levels and vice versa. I'm particularly interested to see how I rate my health during my cycle and whether the exercise and food levels effect how I feel during my cycle. It's all so interconnected! I will post the first results on Saturday.

Hello!

I posted something up on Sunday but stupidly put it on the wrong blog! Damn multiple Gmail accounts.

Aaaanyway, I'm very pleased to report that the weekend was a big success. I stayed on plan, made adjustments where necessary, didn't binge, did all my planned exercise and feel *really* proud of myself.

Monday was also quite good, though I did drink a little too much wine and probably had a few too many roast potatoes at my friends house! But again, I didn't binge and I adjusted my points during the day to accomodate this.

Today I feel a little hungover, though. which in turn make me feel *very* hungry! I doubled up on breakfast because I had a fair few spare points, had a muffin first thing at work and I still feel like I could eat a horse. Every time I get a hungr pang I have a big drink of water which will hopefully tide me over until lunch. I don't really have any options - I have no money and there's only candy to eat.

Wish me luck!

Another month, another fresh start

This past week wasn't great. Too sick for exercise, hungry all the time, didn't care.

I put on 800gms.

But it's a new month and a new week and armed with my A-Z of Motivation I can do this.

I would love to be down to 66kg by the end of the month. This is ambitious but doable.

This morning I went to the gym, despite my ankle being quite sore and despite feeling a little faint from being sick. I thought, after my warm up, that maybe I'd made the wrong decision. I really wasn't well at all. But I decided to stick it out and take it easy and I'm so glad I did. I felt good by the end of it. We have a new instructor for the next few weeks and a change really was as good as a holiday.

After that was WW meeting. Today was all about portion control. I'm not sure what's happening with meetings but we covered portion control about 5 weeks ago, and next week apparently we're talking about the energy deficit which we talked about only 3 weeks ago! A bit strange but I'm going to stick it out. I want to be member of the month for May which means attending every meetingn and losing just 1% of my starting weight which is less than 1kg for me. I know I can do it.

Because I'm now over 69kg I've had to reset my goals from my motivation page.

It now looks a little like this;

• Goal 1: 68.5kg Reward: Small plant from IKEA
  
• Goal 2: 68kg Reward: Magazine
• Goal 3: 67.5kg Reward: Bikini Wax
• Goal 4: 67kg Reward: Chinese massage
• Goal 5: 66.5kg: Reward: New make up
• Goal 6: 66 kg: Reward: New shoes

I have a fellow WW'er coming round for dinner. I'm having low fat hummous and corn chips for entree, lamb roganjosh with rice from the WW website for mains and fresh strawberries with greek yogurt and honey for dessert. I bought a bottle of wine as well, I'm limiting myself to two glasses.

Lots of exercised planned for this weekend, too! I'm really looking forward to getting back into it.